House Rules for Football

JMP and AGP just left for a few days of camping with RaRa {JMP's mom}. I am staying behind for a few reasons ~ I do NOT camp, too much to do at school and home before school starts, and I do NOT camp.

I am finding myself doing a little procrastinating right now. I have caught up on my blog reading and keep daydreaming of what every true southern girl dreams of ~~ FOOTBALL SEASON! Auburn opens the season in 34 days against Arkansas State. Season opener is a night game - 6pm kick off. So, it is now time to post the house rules. You know the ones ~ they supersede all other lists and rules!

{Usually all posts are about The Princess and her antics and all things AGP adorable ~ not this one. It is all about football and how everyone else can survive THE season! Quick side note: I am doing my job as the mother of a southern belle in training. AGP has already started to unleash her internal love of the game. She knew when Handy Manny is over ~ it is time for Kirk and Game Day! AGP is able to recognizes the Mannings {knows the difference between Peyton and Eli}, Brandon Jacobs, and all things AUBURN! She can "War Eagle" like a pro and screams at the defense to hit 'em harder! This season will include expansion and cultivation of all things SEC football.}

So, I am going to share The House Rules for College Football. These rules were originally written by a Fox Sports blogger, Lisa H. I found them on another blog {Growing Up Southern is a Privilege Really} and decided to tweak the rules for my home and share with all of you!

The House Rules for College Football

1. There shall be an unobstructed view of the television at all times.

Any child that stands in front of the TV to get attention form me will be permanently disowned. Unless loss of limb or mass quantities of blood is apparent {visible proof is required}, no cries of injury will be attended to by me {find Papa if you feel faint or nauseous}. Grab a band-aid and some Motrin. Better yet, rub some dirt on it!

Any child that decides to perform her princess song and dance during a football game broadcast will be offered up for adoption by Brad and Angelina. As is.

2. Nutritional needs are not a priority on Saturdays.

Here is your chance to ask Mommy for ice cream and cake for breakfast! In fact, timing is everything. If you ask for cotton candy and deep fried Twinkies while Lee Corso is deciding which mascot head to don, you'll get a quick nod of the head and a swift dismissal by the hand.

Don't expect home-cooked meals, unless you consider Papa John's pizza home-made. Football season is why vitamins were made., so throw back a Barney Rubble with some OJ and quit complaining!

3. Demands for sex will be accepted only during certain hours of Saturday.

Please note the following time changes for when sex will not be accommodated: 6:30 AM - 11:15 PM (PST) every Saturday. Conflicts with college football games are unacceptable.

4. Notre Dame games will be watched even if there are better games on at the same time.

Given the Irish have been a bit embarrassing in the recent past, this year's team has us curious. Will they crash and burn or look like an BCS contender? The game could be a train-wreck or a complete rout. ND games have "huge ratings" potential despite the Navy game a couple seasons ago.

Don't all good catholics watch and root for "Touchdown Jesus". Come on - you know you cried during RUDY!

5. No one shall question the merit of any games being played on September 4, 2010.

Any person who asks why I am watching LA- Lafayette vs UGA, San Jose State vs Alabama, Tenn-Martin vs Tennessee, Miami OHIO vs Florida, Samford vs Florida State, North Texas vs Clemson, Rice vs Texas, North Carolina vs LSWho?, or SMU vs Texas Tech (Sunday, Sept 5 @ 3:30 pm/ET) will be shot on site. "Shoot first, ask questions later" will be the motto of the day. (If you have to ask, brush up on your Auburn knowledge as well as the SEC.)

I have waited seven long months for some college football, and frankly the thought of watching Penn St vs Youngstown St live on television has my mouth watering! The first weekend of college football should be viewed as a national holiday and treated with the utmost dignity and respect.

Every game watched between Thursday, September 2 and Monday, September 6 will be watched with a tear in my eye. I can hear the ESPN theme music now!

6. From 9:00 AM - 11:00 AM CT, all requests requiring Mommy to take her eyes off the TV set will be ignored.

Sure the show has become too commerical, sure the 2 stars, Lee Corso and Kirk Herbstreit, have made the concept seem a little contrived, and sure Lou Holtz can be down right irritating. But after seven long months, I can't wait for College Game Day to start.

In fact, I will probably cry tears of joy as soon as I see the Home Depot desk with Lee tapping his pencil, and Kirk setting Lee up for a "Not so fast, my friend." I will scream with laughter at all the goofy signs, admire the cheerleaders standing on their partner's shoulders, and take a deep breath the second they mention my team .

And yes, I will be looking to see if Mr. Pound has kept his WSU flag flying in every crowd of every College Game Day since 2003. Maybe one day the show will make it to WSU's campus in Pullman, Washington. {doubt it! No marquee games there.}

Oh yeah, the second anyone asks me, "Can I...?" while the show is on will either get ignored or a quick nod of the head. AGP, here is your chance to go ask if you can play in the street, set Winston on fire, or drink your first cup of coffee, I'm not listening. I am in a trance.

7. No one shall make fun of any attire worn on Saturdays.

There comes a time when wardrobe critique from small children or spouses should be quelled. Saturdays are one of those days.

On away game Saturdays, I probably didn't sleep much Friday night because of the AHS game and anticipation of all the college games on Saturday. I will be looking pretty bad. Pajamas, slippers, my oldest Auburn t-shirt, un-brushed teeth, and twisted pile of hair on top of my head are to be expected until noon.

If the games are too exciting, I may not change my appearance at all.

Once showered, every member of the family will be wearing Navy and Burnt Orange {no UF or UT orange will be allowed} for the duration of the day. PERIOD. If Auburn is on a winning streak, you may wear the same ensemble every Saturday until further notice. You need to put on a happy face and give the world your best, "War Eagle!"

8. Any person(s) who plays "hide the remote from Mommy" game will suffer serious consequences.

Yes, Saturday morning cartoons are important to all children,. That's why AGP has a TV and DVD player in her room. {I know she is three and TV watching is limited except during football season.} The lists for Santa Claus and birthday presents have been well thought out by Mommy. If the remote gets "misplaced" on a Saturday, the punishment will be liver and onions for lunch (delivery, of course) and steamed brussel sprouts with mustard sauce for dinner (from freezer to microwave to plate in seconds). The stench should be a poignant reminder of such foolish behavior.

9. Any phone calls from friends will be treated the same as telemarketing solicitations.

There are a few friends that share my enthusiasm. They have a direct line to me during games. The rest of you know I love you enough to leave you alone during The Real Housewives of the World and The Bachelor. Please do the same for me on football Saturdays.

10. Baseball is officially non-existent on Saturdays.

I do not care if the play-offs are close. When football is on, there is no other sport worth watching. Including baseball.

I have suffered through a winter of basketball and a summer of baseball. I am over it! I need some contact sport, I need some violence, I need some green turf without brown dirt in the middle of it. I don't want anymore manager's kicking dirt on the ump's feet, I do not care where LeBron James plays basketball, and thank goodness the World Cup is over! I want and need to see Spurrier throw his visor, dang it! I need to see Joe Pa (Joe Paterno for those that don't know.) on the field with his pants rolled up to his ankles!

The House has spoken.

*** Please note that in case of emergency, please evacuate the house and talk all valuables with you to the nearest Red Cross Shelter. Do not waste any time begging me to leave the TV for safety.

I could not resist the temptation to pull out my favorite pictures of AGP in her Auburn dress at Jordan Hare! Oldies but goodies!

War Eagle!

Let the games begin!

Donations for Sunnyside

If you haven't seen Toy Story 3, this will make no sense to you at all. AGP has been to the theatre twice to see the movie. She has watched TS1 and TS2 on tv. {We have not made the purchases, yet. Sounds like a good grandparent treat to me!}

After the first screening of TS3, AGP came home and packed up many toys to donate to Sunnyside. I was shocked that she included some of her favorites. This donation pile lasted about an hour. After that, she was back playing and putting her toys back where they belong.

Earlier this week while AGP was napping, I sat down to watch a little tv before cooking dinner. The remote control was missing. I looked all over ~ under/behind cushions, inside the toy box, in the frig and stove {in my kitchen and AGP's pink kitchen}, and under the dining room table. No where to be found. I asked John if he had seen it. He said no and kept doing whatever he was doing. So, I went to our bedroom and settled in to watch tv in bed.

About 15 minutes into Designed to Sell, John came in laughing with his sleeping bag bag {what do you call the small bag you stuff your sleeping bag into?} in his hands. He needed both hands to hold it. He dropped the bag onto the bed and said he remembered AGP packing up toys to donate to Sunnyside and seems to thinks she mentioned a remote!

Sure enough the donation bag contained the remote control, all our gloves/scarves/hats, a few toys, and a pair of my shoes. Wonder what the children at Sunnyside would have done with all those items?!

{as I am typing this post, AGP came in with a princess backpack full. She said it was a present for Isabella"s momma. The presents were COLD juice boxes, bottled water, gherkins pickles, peppers, and chocolate syrup. Wonder what Beth would say if AGP really gave all that to her?}

Splish ~ Splash

AGP loves a bubble bath!

She found her reflection in the overflow drain.
We may never get her out of the tub now.

Sweet AGP!

Goofy AGP!

Royal Ball

The ballroom has been decorated!

The invited guests have arrived!

The carriages are settled

but ready for the quick exit before midnight!

The dressing room is ready.

One never knows when a fresh ball gown will be required.

The royal poodle stands guard!

Princess AGP is ready to host the affair!

I am so sorry that I am not able to photograph myself.

My ensemble was so attractive!

Quiet on the Set, Action!

AGP loves to play with her Disney Princess dolls.
Sometimes she creates her own stories and adventures.
But sometimes AGP watches the movie while she carefully recreates the scenes.
Here she is watching Briar Rose discover she is really Princess Aurora
and her handsome stranger is really her betrothed ~ Prince Phillip.

Making sure all the characters are represented
{The fairies must be right and the mice can't be seen this time.}

and dressed appropriately
{Aurora can not met her prince wearing Cinderella, Snow White, or Belle's ball gown.}

A director's job is never done!

Hunger Strike

AGP has declared she will not eat until her papa comes home!

Papa is scheduled to return one week from today!

She was quite a tough cookie to crack!
Today she ate 2 scrambled eggs and a few grapes.

That was it!

I offered

candy,

cookies,

ice cream,

hamburger with cheese {no mustard}!

AGP said, "I will, when Papa comes back to our family."

Papa called tonight.

He told AGP that presents from trips are for little girls that eat!

Let's see what she wants more:

Woody and Buzz Lightyear

or

Waiting to eat with Papa??

Any guesses?

Diamonds, Bubbles, Ribbons, Scissors, and Perfection!

AGP has her moments!

Here are a few priceless glimpses into the world of AGP!

Enjoy these moments, we did!

AGP wears her tiara with

~ grace ~

~flair ~

~attitude ~

Bath time is a source of much frustration!

AGP insists on wetting the entire bathroom.

How can you stay mad at that face?

Scissors are the newest tool of choice.

Many chats consisted of what can and what can not be cut.

Remember the rolls of wrapping paper she asked Santa to bring?

Those can be cut!

Remember the life size sheepdog {Big Dog} she asked Santa to bring?

His hair can not!

{Her hair can NOT be cut either}

AGP works hard on her fine motor cutting skills.

And her black ops stealth skills!

After all the cutting with her big girl scissors,

play doh smashing in the carpet,

bubble throwing across the bathroom,

and dirt digging in the potted plants ~

These little fingers are still sweet and precious.

I kiss each hand before she goes to bed.

AGP puts the kisses up for later

~ when the house is dark and we are far away~

It really doesn't matter how wet the bathroom gets,

where she sticks stickers,

how many times she terrorizes Winston

~ when she sleeps ~

~ it's pure perfection ~

{even Winston agrees and sneaks to snuggle}

AGP's First Day of Pre-School

AGP was so excited!

She could not sleep the night before her first day of school.

AGP packed 3 backpacks for school.

One had all her Mardi Gras beads, one had all her princesses,

and one had an extra pair of shoes!

Papa convinced her to leave them home the first day.

What a happy face!

IPCDS is THE place!
AGP's only unhappy comment about the day,

"Why didn't the school bus come get me?"

Pre-School Project

AGP was tickled after her first day of school.

She could not wait to show us her project.

This may be the cutest frog ever!!!

AGP never would trust her herself not to hold the horn.
I think maybe she liked feeling it unfurl!!

The tongue would come out and she worked diligently to get it fixed.

How adorable is she?!

Thank you, Lisa for using noiseless frog horns!

Drama Queen

John left for his annual writing retreat. This year it is in Austin, TX. He was supposed to leave at 4am. However, I woke up at 2 am and he was gone already. AGP woke up at 4 am looking for her papa! She was very sad that he had already left.

I put her in bed with me. She asked for cartoons. I turned on the faithful Disney Channel. We had cartoons - appropriate for a 3 yr old cartoons. We were awake for 2.5 hours! She finally went back to sleep at 6:45 am. We slept a bit later than usual!

During our very early time awake, AGP was playing her role as drama queen very well! She was so concerned that her family was broken and all apart! "How is it gonna be fixed?" I said - Papa will finish his work and come home.

We will be talking to Papa several times a day!

{at least until she goes back to school Tuesday!}

Here's hoping that John has a safe trip, productive retreat, fabulous bike rides, and an AWESOME experience at Mellow Johnny's!

Maybe Lance will have made up the time and will be wearing the maillot jaune again!

How cool would that be?

{ps - spell check caught jaune but not maillot?}

Busy Week

I will post more soon - just wanted to share a quick post.

AGP started pre-school this week. She is doing the summer session for July and August. She starts regular schedule in September. {ahhh, an old school calendar ~remember the days of starting after Labor Day and getting out near Memorial Day??? I do!!}

We have all been sick in the last 7 days. AGP started us off early last week, John had it at the end of the week, and it hit me today. Summer colds are miserable!

I finished my first smocking project and half way into the second. Pretty fun!

I borrowed Darby's recipe for fruit roll ups. I made a batch yesterday. Yummy! {My next endeavor will be Black and White cookies for John ~ NYC style.}

John bought a new camera today!

Independence Day

Here are a few of my favorite RED, WHITE, and BLUE pleasures in life....

Happy 4th of July!!!

Kleenex Makes a Very Good Hat!

TThe previous post mentioned Eloise and her influence on AGP. I felt it would only be fair to give the original precocious blonde some well deserved attention.

"I am Eloise. I am six. I am a city child. I live at The Plaza."

Eloise was introduced to the world in 1955 and is still inspiring AGP in 2010. Eloise lives with her "rawther" British Nanny, her dog Weenie, and her turtle Skipperdee. Eloise roams around the landmark NYC hotel looking for adventures and attention. She attends weddings {invited or not}, spies on debutantes in the Terrace Room, and helps the maids change sheets every morning {even if the maid doesn't ask for help}.

We read the original Eloise book at least once a week. AGP watches the Eloise movies {animated not real movie} all the time! She has the original when Eloise meets Yuki, the Eloise Halloween special with Diamond Jim Johnson, and Eloise in Springtime {Papa just gave her that one this week.}.

AGP loves to watch the clip of Nanny {Julie Andrews} and Eloise {Sofia V.} singing "Oh What a Lovely Morning" on youtube. She will watch it over and over again. Then she insists we sing that part of the book. {have you ever heard me sing? ouch!}

AGP has even asked us to show her The Plaza on the computer. Being the phenomenal parents that we are, we went to The Plaza's official website - www{dot}fairmont{dot}com. She has requested a visit!

John and I explored the site after AGP went to bed. The Plaza offers two Eloise packages!! We were so excited.

1. Live Like Eloise for $965.00 a night

2. Live Like Eloise Slumber Party {for up to six} for a mere $3,700.00 a night

The excitement was quickly extinguished. John is quite the tenacious researcher and discovered the basement of The Plaza has an Eloise area!!! {anyone can visit ~ hotel reservations not required} Ann and Maggie Harell have previewed the Eloise experience. Excitement is back!!

Here are a few photographs of Eloise's "basement" area.

I just adore the Eloise flag waving on the front of The Plaza!

Don't you?

Is there anything more beautiful than this room to helplittle girls' dreams come true?
{Big girls, too!}

Just when you think it doesn't get any better...
Tres Chic!

One day, my southern belle will be dressed in her finest sipping tea {and a little shopping} in these fabulous pink and black rooms that dreams are made of!

Thank you, Kay Thompson and Hilary Knight
for bringing Eloise to generations of precocious little girls!

Upside Down

AGP has been all out of whack with her schedule. A full week of vacation and a week of being sick has her schedule flipped upside down, inside out, and every other way possible. She wakes up around 8 am in a decent mood. That lasts about 2 hours and then this monster starts showing up. She cries and whines and yells and doesn't follow directions. Completely out of her typical character.

Last night, I walked into AGP's bedroom at 11:25 pm. AGP was sitting at the foot of her bed, feet between bars, and typing on the top of the bed rail. When she saw me, she grinned and said, "Watch this!" The she turned sideways, grabbed the bed rail, leaned forward and upside down, and FLIPPED off the bed! She has NO fear!

I was tired of putting her back in bed. {We have been putting her back in bed over and over again for the last few nights.} So, I got my phone and took pictures of her flipping out of her bed. Then I crawled in bed with her and we watched ELOISE.

{HMMMM.... maybe Eloise, the precocious 6 year old who lives at The Plaza is her teacher!!! }

We snuggled and giggled. I enjoyed the time very much! This afternoon, AGP apologized for not staying in bed and turning on the light.